2 months and counting

It's amazing how fast these days are flying by. Owen is now almost 10 weeks old. He had an appointment today and weighed 14 pounds, 1.5 ounces. He's 25 inches long too, so is in the 90th percentile for weight and the 95th for length. He's so cuddly and chunky. We absolutely can't get enough of him! All three kids ask often to hold him and snuggle him. There's no shortage of hands willing to care for him, and that is a huge blessing.

Lately, Owen has been sucking on his fist a bunch, and even rolled over once this past week. He's smiling, cooing, and interacting, which of course makes us all just go goofy over him. Even his older siblings are more excited now that he can "do" something. He is such a sweet and laidback baby, like I predicted he'd be when he took his sweet time being born. We can't imagine life without this sweet blessing.

We are looking forward to celebrating him Sunday at a baby shower some friends are hosting for us. I am so tickled that we have time to share him with others who have diligently prayed for his life, even from the first days we knew he existed!

Birth Story, part 4 - happiest ending ever

This is the final part of Owen's birth story. Thank you for reading! Scroll down to begin reading in order, working your way up from Part 1 - Part 4.

Our precious son was suctioned, cried a tiny bit, and was handed immediately to me, with a blanket around him, and we snuggled skin to skin for about an hour. I cannot describe the absolute joy and satisfaction of holding him, knowing exactly what had happened for every one of his first moments. I was tired, but clear-headed, without one minute of vomiting (hooray!) or a drop of pain medication. I was so aware of, and thankful for, God's absolute gift of this baby and his birth. It was a dream come true, and many prayers answered. Even getting to hold and nurse him for a long time before he was bathed and evaluated was really special. When they did take him to bathe and weigh, I could see he was really chunky. I had no idea though, when the nurse exclaimed and James and others watching, shocked me with his size. That sweet boy weighed 10 pounds, 8 ounces, and was over 22 inches long! I just laughed and laughed, and felt even more happiness that we had such an uneventful delivery, with such a big baby. It also confirmed to me that what I'd said for months was probably true, and that the due date the doctor had given me probably wasn't right. I thought I was two weeks farther along the entire pregnancy than they did, and his size pretty much confirms that to me!

Rachel's version of Owen's story: http://rachelgarcia77.blogspot.com/2010/02/birth-story-jennifer-and-james-vbac.html

A few folks to thank -

I'm beyond grateful to God for the blessing of our surprise son. Not planned or even prayed for, this baby boy has brought us joy during a tough year of loss, and will be unique for that and many other reasons. Thank you, Father! My dear husband and best friend, James, was an encouragement and steadfast support throughout this pregnancy and delivery. From the moment I cried and told him we were expecting again, till the moment we held Owen for the first time, he never wavered in loving me and being a godly, faithful partner. Rachel became a sweet friend and loyal support in ways I will never take for granted, and I highly recommend her as a doula! Alli photographed the pregnancy and labor with such taste and creativity that I will treasure always. My sweet Mama cared for me by emailing words of encouragement for nine long months, physically served me through the labor, and has shared our story with pride and honor to God that just brings me to tears. Joy and Amy have been examples of moms who had babies naturally and in the toughest moments of labor, their faces continually came to mind as reminders of God's goodness and strength. Rebecca was the first friend to know we were expecting, and she prayed for us and cheered me on with the loyalty of a true sister. Autumn, your consistent love for my kiddos and your presence when they needed their "aunt" to love on them continues to bless me and I'm so grateful for you. Ronda, Amy, Sandi, Tanya, and Cynthia - my sweet Bible study girls knew and prayed early on when the situation looked bleak. Thank you for your hope and faith, when mine was not so strong. Mindy, Andrea, Jamie, Holly, Robin, and Elizabeth, you've been so faithful to check in on me and rejoice with us throughout this time. Others in our faith family continually reminded me they were praying for us. Friends who have struggled with infertility were especially generous with their words and actions, which touched me deeply. My heart just overflows with so many gifts of friendship and love from you all. Thank you. I love you dearly!

Birth Story, part 3 - the home stretch

There are several aspects of this part of the birth I have been reflecting on. Again, it's wordy, so this is really for those mamas wanting to read the minute details of one person's perspective on a natural childbirth experience! For the rest of you, you can just watch the slides to get the highlights. :-)

Preparation:
I had read and re-read the Bradley book for information on different positions to help labor progress, and asked several friends for their advice to be as prepared as I could to make the transition period as simple as possible. I had no illusions it would be pain free or really easy, but also knew experience had to count for something, and valued those who shared with me. I went into childbirth feeling really well prepared, and adding Rachel's experience with her own NCB, plus her training, and assistance with many other moms' births, truly did make it a great, not-awful-at-all, part of labor. Yes, it was intense at times, but I don't think I ever even second-guessed what we were doing. I could tell that the comforting methods we were using were really helping, I had wonderful emotional support, I was so motivated and excited that we were close to meeting Owen face-to-face, that it really all seemed to move quickly and though there were moments of great physical pressure, it wasn't excruciating, and didn't cause me to even cry, scream, or feel out of control. It always seemed manageable, which means we worked well together to stay on top of the contractions and my Mom, James, and Rachel were the key to that happening. I kept remembering my wise friend Joy's words that, "Every contraction you have is one less you still have to experience," which sounds simplistic, but really helped me. Knowing each one got me closer to seeing Owen, and was one more step accomplished was very gratifying.

My mindset:
I keep pondering how to describe the emotions I felt through those last few hours of Owen's labor. It was a very surreal time. I felt so many different physical sensations, but I had this mental/emotional focus I can't compare to anything else in my life. I know that I kept my eyes closed for most of the labor, from the first moments at home, till right at the end, with only brief minutes glancing at anyone. It wasn't intentional, but I guess I felt like I was in my own world of working and concentration, and just couldn't care about anything else happening around me. I hardly knew any conversations were going on, or that Alli was taking photos, or anything. I can probably compare it closest to that feeling when I've been at the beach, and get on a snorkel and mask, to float in the shallow end of the ocean, looking at fish and seashells. It's a very calming atmosphere, and though I am floating and being splashed some in the waves, and can hear sounds of my family around me, they are muffled and distant. That is really how transition seemed. I wasn't out of it and knew who was there and that there were things going on, but I was so attuned to feeling everything progressing, and wanting to just soak it in, that I could somehow block out those distractions. It was odd, and really beautiful. I have said repeatedly that the birth was peaceful, and though I know I moaned a lot and was sweating with exertion, it wasn't stressful or scary. Another neat thing I noticed, was even when contractions were long, and very close together, every minute or so, there would occasionally be a little break - just enough extra space in between to catch a breath and just rest for a few more seconds. I hadn't expected that, and it was such sweet relief everytime I noticed it occurred.

The transition:
I did try several positions at the hospital, including lying on my side first, then we labored some on the toilet to ease up on the pressure I felt, then I used the birth ball, and finally faced the front of the bed and leaned over on pillows. Within the hour of moving to the front of the bed, I was checked and at 10 cm, fully effaced, and Owen had dropped again to +1! I was so happy things were going so well. Rachel and Dr. Mc both encouraged me that if I'd get in a squat position, it wouldn't be long at all till Owen would be fully engaged. I remember whining about that a bit, but knew they were right, though I think I told them they'd have to get me in position, because I was so tired and just didn't think I could do it alone. Plus, I loved leaning over on the raised head of the bed on those pillows, and my Mom was massaging and applying pressure along with Rachel, on my back and hips, and James was encouraging me with verses I'd written down to be read to me, and I just didn't want to move from that position! I told them later, that I felt bossy, because all I verbalized that entire time seemed to be orders to Mom, James, and Rachel - "Higher," "Lower," "Harder," and "Squeeze!" They never complained, and worked so hard, and the relief I felt from the acupressure was tremendous!

Of course, the experts were right, they all did help me move, and within 20 minutes of getting to the squat bar, I was having overwhelming urges to push and bear down, without even meaning to do so. I knew that I felt a burning sensation and told James that I needed to have downloaded Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" for this moment, though he'd discouraged me when I had suggested this a few days prior, and Rachel thought I was crazy. ;-) Then, I heard the wonderful words that they could see Owen's head, and I just wanted to cry from joy! I was thrilled! Dr. Mc came back in, said we should move to a sitting position, and they adjust the lower part of the bed so I was basically sitting like in a chair, and could push down with my feet for leverage. Dr. Mc slowly and reassuringly encouraged me as I pushed, never telling me what to do, just praising me that I was doing well, and to keep pushing as I needed. Rachel asked for a mirror so I could actually open my eyes and see something, and when I did look (after initially reacting with "That is just freaky!"), I did almost cry, realizing I was seeing the first glimpse of our little boy. I was more motivated than ever, and even when I felt like we weren't making much progress with every single effort, Rachel kept saying I was, and reminding me to look and notice how much more of him I could see. I only had to push about 10 minutes, and was so grateful when Owen's head was finally out. What relief and excitement!

Dr. Mc had asked James to gown up and had offered and already walked him through how he was going to let James deliver Owen. They were all prepared for James to do the next steps of catching him, which we hadn't planned on, but were very pleased that the doctor suggested it. However, it became obvious immediately that we were dealing with shoulder dystocia. Owen was stuck and no pushing worked then. Dr. Mc quickly said, "I'm going to have to do this," to James, who happily stepped to the side. Dr. Mc kindly and very seriously looked up and said, "Jennifer, look at me. I need you to push this baby out, and you need to really take a deep breath and we're going to have to work quickly. He needs to come out." I just nodded, and he said he would count and then I needed to push. He counted to three, I pushed, and not a thing happened. He then said, very firmly, "Jenn, you gotta give me all you have. Right now." I said, "I already have! YOU get him out!" He said I had to, and I could do it, but that we needed to hurry up. Mom and Rachel helped me sit up more, the nurses got on either side of me, and he said he'd count again, and I needed to push as long and hard as I could and not stop till he told me. I took a huge breath, he counted, and we pushed. Nurses pushed on me, I pushed, he pulled, and after one shoulder came free, the next one stuck. James said it was hard watching as he carefully, but firmly held Owen's head, and one shoulder, and with great force, pulled him out. As they lifted him up, and I collapsed back on the bed, I saw how very dark bluish purple his head was, and knew it had been a serious moment. Though it lasted only seconds, and I didn't know exactly what was happening, I'm grateful that the atmosphere remained calm and the doctor was able to get Owen out safely. I wish that it had been a little less intense, but it really was so fast and I don't have regrets because he was just fine. He again lived up to the meaning of his name, which means "mighty warrior." This little one had to prove from the beginning with that first ultrasound until the final moments of his entrance into the world that he was a fighter, and I just love how fitting his name is.

Owen Thomas Vines was born at 7:25 am. We had been at the hospital less than three hours when we were holding our baby boy!

Birth Story, part 2 - labor at home and en route to hospital

**Scroll down to begin the story and read posts in order, with most recent being at the top.**

Saturday, February 13 1:30 a.m.
Yay! I was awakened and sat upright with strong contractions. I went to the restroom, tried to go back to sleep, thinking this might be the real thing starting. James got up with Elijah, who came down the hall crying, and he went to get him back to sleep. I dozed off.
At 2:00 I woke to a “SLAM” in my pelvis, and thought I actually heard my water break. I jumped out of bed, and ran to the bathroom. Yep, lots of clear, amniotic fluid! James came back to the room about the same time, and I told him that the day was finally here! I first texted, then called Rachel (our doula), and Autumn (my friend who was going to help with the kids) after they responded, and called Alli, our friend who was going to photograph the labor. Abigail had begged for weeks to be awakened whenever Owen was actually coming, so though I hesitated with the late hour, James encouraged me to go ahead, and said she’d never forgive us if she didn’t get to be part of things. So, we woke her up, and she was so happy. She quickly got dressed, brushed her teeth, and waited with me. Alli was first to arrive and began to take photos. Rachel had talked on the phone with me, and we timed a couple of contractions, which were 3-4 minutes apart and lasting around a minute each. She got a quick shower, then came over close to 3:00. Autumn came closely thereafter. James called the Shelby County Sheriff’s Dept., to check on road conditions, because we knew with the snow and freezing temperature, that they had advised folks to stay off of the roads. They said that there had been 60+ wrecks already in Birmingham and that they recommended people stay home. James explained we couldn’t since we were having a baby. They cautioned him to drive carefully on the interstate around Valleydale Rd., but didn’t know of any specific issues beyond that. We also called our parents to let them know today would be Owen's birthday. I had great plans to email friends and post facebook updates periodically, but none of that happened. When things really started, I was unable to really think of anything but focusing on contractions and that held true till Owen was delivered.

I’d thought things would begin slowly and painlessly so that I could do last minute preparations, and would be chatty and up for fun pictures and all, but I was already having to concentrate some on the contractions, so wasn’t very chatty or useful. I guess the days and days of prodromal labor I’d had were my time to do that stuff. I had our bags packed for weeks, but we realized we had no clothes ready for the kids to wear right then, though everything was packed for while they would stay at Mom and Dad’s. All those weeks of time to prepare, and we really weren’t completely ready when it finally came down to it. James and Abigail got things together, while I tried to direct from the bedroom, and Rachel tried to keep me relaxed and comfortable. The contractions were quickly progressing, and I was moaning a good bit through them. Rachel had to remind me to moan low, in an “ooohhhh” sound, and not an “oowww” like I tended to do. Deep breathing and lying on the bed with her massaging and applying counter pressure with tennis balls on my lower back really helped. I also sat on the ball beside the bed, leaning over on it, for support. Both positions helped at different times.

I lost more amniotic fluid at one point too, and that caused things to increase another notch in discomfort and pressure. Rachel encouraged me that I was doing well, but I felt like I was close to panicking occasionally. It just seemed to be moving so quickly, and I remember saying, “I don’t like this!” James was sweet to encourage and talked calmly to me, rubbing my forehead and arms, and just being close by. Abigail was precious too, though she was a little concerned that I was already hurting some. Rachel called Dr. McKenzie to let him know we were coming in, and we left around 4:10 a.m. Our goal was to get there before transition, and not knowing if travel would be difficult we didn’t want to cut it too close, and felt we were staying home as long as we should. I was really dreading the car ride, and nervous, thinking it was going to be horrific. I was surprised at how much my lower back hurt, and was also fighting some nausea. Rachel was honest, and said, “It’ll be intense, but we’ll do all we can to get you comfortable.”

It was bitterly cold and we were a sight, loading up into the van. James had to struggle to get some doors open because they were frozen, and couldn’t even open all of them to load our bags. Alli got in the front, Abi climbed to the back seat, and Rachel and I took the captain’s chairs in the middle. I kneeled in the floor, leaned over the birthing ball which was in the chair in front of me. It wasn’t a fun ride, but thankfully, wasn’t too long. Contractions were hard, and I felt unstable, leaning from side to side on curves. James drove carefully, and one thing I will never forget is the slushy noise from the salt on the roads and how really loud it was. At one point, I was loudly moaning and thinking how great a home birth would have been, and James brought up that maybe we should play a song on my iPod that I’d half-jokingly added that week to be used for a tough moment in labor. Alli laughed because I’d told her about it too, and we all got a chuckle out of Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” blasting through the van in those crazy circumstances. I needed the distraction, and to remember that the pain and discomfort were truly only temporary feelings, and the goal was so great and worth working toward. As silly as it sounds, it really was a great tension breaker.

We arrived to the hospital with no problems, within 30 minutes. We had to time my getting out of the car because of contractions coming really close together and hustled inside quickly at 4:45. As we approached the nurses’ station, Rachel let them know who we were and that we’d be doing a natural childbirth, so would appreciate a nurse who was agreeable to that. We were taken to a room on a quiet hall, and I was able to change with help and get the fetal monitor hooked up. I was checked and found to be progressed to between 7-8 cm, 100% effaced, and Owen had dropped to -1 station! I was so excited. I had thought if things were pretty intense and had seemed to move quickly but I was told I had only made it one more centimeter, I’d have been very discouraged. That was such an encouraging moment, and I never wavered after that. I just knew we’d done some great work, and that transition couldn’t be too far away. I was so ready to meet our sweet boy!

Birth Story, part 1 - The Night Before

Here is the beginning of the long-delayed story of Owen's birth. Between normal adjustment to life after a new baby's arrival, a scary uterine infection that knocked me in the bed for a week, and now James' recovery from wisdom tooth removal, I just haven't had much time to work on this. I'm going to try to finish it up this weekend, and am writing it here in installments, since I'm so detailed and wordy. Hopefully it'll encourage those of you who are considering a natural childbirth, and want to hear a great experience!

Friday, February 12

What a happy day! Though the week had been tiring, with a lot of signs labor was slowly starting, we were so thankful to have the distraction of some beautiful snow. James was off and able to enjoy it with us, so in the afternoon, our family loaded up and went to the nearby park to sled down the hills. Elijah and I watched and cheered, but with the snow very wet and slushy, he quickly got tired and too cold, so we finished watching from the van.

I was feeling some random contractions, and generally uncomfortable, but no major consistent signs. That evening we settled down to watch some of the Olympics Opening Ceremony with the kids, who loved it and thought it was really neat to see all the countries represented. We got them to bed at a decent time, and I spent some time emailing Rachel, our doula, with questions. After Owen surprised us again by not arriving by the end of the work week like Dr. McKenzie had thought, I was a little nervous feeling. Because I knew I was overdue, and also trying for a VBAC, I wondered at what point his size really be a factor against doing a vaginal birth. I asked Rachel to consult a midwife to just get another opinion, to ease our minds, and encourage us to just wait patiently. I’d lost my mucous plug Thursday, and was at 3 cm, and 80% at the appt. Wednesday, so knew something was happening, just not sure how much longer things might go on. I was fine waiting for days longer, but concerned that I didn’t even have another appointment scheduled with the doctor, and didn’t want to be foolish if uterine rupture really was a risk like some statistics show. I didn’t think it was a big risk, but knew the doctors may differ and want to insist on a c-section if I hadn’t delivered by some point soon. Her advice was wise and what I needed to hear:

“You and Owen are doing great right now. So let’s just give these next few days to the Lord with some great petitions for labor to start on its own and then we can see what happens. I am super proud of you and James. A natural birth is still the plan and, in my opinion, we focus on that until we have a dead end decision to make.”

So, we went to bed that night, peaceful and content, deciding to just wait and see what God planned. James joked that tonight would be the most inopportune time for Owen to come because the roads were iced over all around us, and so we could hope maybe he’d go ahead and come when we actually did NOT want to get out and go to the hospital. Little did we know….

Natural Childbirth

For those of you who haven't followed the blog for the past nine months, there was a lot of thought and prayer going into our decision to attempt natural childbirth (NCB) with this pregnancy. The reasons are many and would take ages to explain, but I'll try to hit the highlights, since plenty of folks wonder and ask. I also had not understood in the past, why a woman would willingly forgo medication, when it's readily available, and commonly expected to be used when going through labor.

With my pregnancy with Abigail, I just didn't research a lot, didn't know anyone who had done NCB that was my age, and was not encouraged in the least during our childbirth classes to ever consider it. I had a relatively easy labor, with my water breaking at home, labor starting pretty much like a textbook would describe it with increasing contractions, and we went to the hospital within a couple of hours of the beginning of that.

I started getting pretty uncomfortable around 5 cm, was offered something to take the edge of off the pain, and mentioned I was really sensitive to pain meds., so would prefer something really mild and known to not have bad side effects. I was given one dose of Nubain, and began vomiting that never let up throughout the entire labor. Very soon, I was happily accepting the epidural that was offered. Though it didn't help the vomiting, and I had to just endure that, I at least had a little relief from the contractions. I was so exhausted and emotional by then, and Pitocin was then given because the contractions slowed down some, and Abigail's heartrate dropped - I now know one intervention seems to lead to another, and that was sure the case in my situation. Nothing went as planned after I took that first dose of medication.

After a couple of hours of that experience, I was so exhausted that I could hardly tell what I was doing when told to push, and it was a sad, frustrating moment when I was sitting up in the bed, with nurses on either side laying across my belly, pushing, as my Mom held me upright and kept an emesis basin close at hand. After Abigail was delivered, with the use of forceps, I was finally able to be given Phenergan in the IV, which knocked me out and kept me drowsy for the next two days. I really don't remember much at all of her first days of life, because of the medication and fatigue from all that happened. She was healthy and was a great newborn, thankfully, and labor was less than 12 hours total. I prayed that if I ever had the opportunity again to give birth, I would try to have a different experience, and plan better beforehand.

So, five years later, when we were happily pregnant again, I desired to give birth to Elijah vaginally and without medication. However, when my placenta abrupted, there was no choice other than an emergency c-section. I was thankful that he was delivered safely, despite the potential for some scary circumstances. With our history of infertility, and feeling that God had completed our family with biological children, I was disappointed that I wouldn't ever be able to know what a normal, natural birth could be like, but was so grateful for our children, that I tried not to dwell on it.

We were shocked with the news that we were expecting again, when Elijah was just 18 months old, part of my excitement was definitely that I hoped this might be our chance to deliver naturally, though it would possibly be an issue if my doctors weren't in favor of a VBAC (vaginal birth after a cesarean). At my first appointment with the ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy, I asked how my doctor viewed my potential as a VBAC candidate and he quickly said that I was exactly the type patient that they'd want to have one. I had already had a vaginal birth prior, and gone into labor on my own, which were great factors in my favor. Throughout the pregnancy, that was my main question, as I met each doctor in the practice. Each one confirmed that a VBAC was very possible, though two mentioned that if I went past my due date, they may want to do a repeat c-section, since there is some risk of uterine rupture as the baby gets larger and the scar is compromised. I knew that was a very slight risk, but that they still might focus on the statistics.

I contacted a friend of friends, Rachel Garcia, who had attended our college a few years after James and I did, and who I'd recently found on Facebook. She was attending and assisting with births and getting educated in being a doula. I knew from friends I had met the past few years, that having a doula would greatly help in NCB. The word "doula" actually is Greek for "a woman who serves," and these women train to be advocates for moms in the birth process, and just help them throughout the pregnancy as well. The book I was recommended to read by numerous friends (Husband-Coached Childbirth: the Bradley Method) also mentions doulas as vital to the NCB experience.

We met with Rachel first early on in the pregnancy, and she encouraged us both with her knowledge and experience and I felt more confident that we had the ability to pursue the VBAC naturally. She became a good friend as she regularly checked on me, and especially at the end of the pregnancy, helped me focus on our goal of honoring God with our desire and not become too concerned about the timing and delivery date. When I became concerned about Owen being overdue, and feared that a c-section was going to be demanded by my doctors, she kept me calm, and reminded me to just take each day as it came. Up until a few hours before my water broke, she was still encouraging and helping me to patiently wait. I'm so grateful for her role in Owen's story, and have nothing but gratitude for how she made it such a joyful, easy experience.

The rest of the story regarding why NCB was such a great decision is explained in Part 3 of Owen's birth story.

2 weeks old

Here are some of the photos from our Portrait Innovations shoot. Owen is 18 days old and did just great. We were so pleased to get some pictures of him sleepy and some wide-eyed. The photographer loved him and bragged on how sweet he was. Enjoy!